‘How to live with a neurotic cat’ was the title of Suzy Felstead’s hilarious talk in October. She began by telling us that kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them after six days, shut them again…and keep them shut for the best part of the rest of their lives! They are also born neurotic, they do nothing to pay for their keep, like the best of everything…food, places to sleep, entertainment etc, but they have to share their space with you, which can interfere with their plans (and their sleep!)
Suzy explained that cats have six main objectives:
1. To live as cheaply and well as possible - make sure you facilitate this.
2. Sleeping - your cat will share the bed, it likes to stretch out and you must fit around it. To live at peace with your cat, let it sleep where and when it wants. Never truly asleep, the sound of a can opening will bring it running.
3. Entertainment - Suzy told us about Chester, a cat who enjoyed whacking people through the bannisters as they walked upstairs. Other objects of fun were ankles, phones, light switches and toilet rolls. Play with your cat and let it play with whatever it wants to.
4. Hunting - your cat loves to bring you presents (pebbles, mice, birds etc…Suzy was once given 4 live baby rabbits by her cat!). Accept the gift, thank the cat and don’t throw the gift away immediately, or you will soon receive another one!
4. Eating - Cats love to eat, e.g. cheese, pasta, curry and cake. Suzy’s cat has a penchant for seared tuna and double cream. Find out what it likes.
5. Procreation - your cat will want to do this as often as possible. Get it doctored to avoid the patter of tiny paws, but be aware that after trips to the vet, cats can hold grudges!
Kilby W I meet on the third Thursday of each month at Kilby School. For further details, phone Ann Stuart on (0116) 240 2514.