Look After Your Mind – How To Stop Worrying

You may have heard of Dale Carnegie (1888-1955). He was an American writer and lecturer best known for his books on self-improvement. His three most famous are ‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living’, ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ and ‘How to Develop Self-Confidence and Influence People by Public Speaking’.

I want to concentrate on ‘How to Stop Worrying’, which for me was, and still is, one of the most useful and powerful books I’ve ever read. As a teenager and even into my early twenties I was a great worrier – a trait perhaps inherited from my parents, who fretted constantly. Not only did I go through life with a kind of ‘free floating anxiety’, I’d also worry about future worst-case scenarios and even about events that had already happened. I’d locked myself into the habit of constant worrying, even though just about everything in my life was going pretty smoothly.

I don’t know how I came across ‘How to Stop Worrying’; probably just browsing in a bookshop in those pre-Internet days. I bought it in 1972 for 50p and still have the same treasured copy on my bookshelf. I can’t of course sum up Dale Carnegie’s wealth of advice in a short article, but will simply recommend you buy the book.

Much of the advice comes in the form of anecdotes Carnegie recounts from his meetings with ordinary people and the many famous celebrities he knew. The back cover blurb claims the book is ‘full of practical ways to break the worry habit before it breaks you. It can change the whole course of your life…’
It certainly changed the course of mine and led to me becoming a much more settled and more self-confident person. Chapter headings such as ‘A Magic Formula for Solving Worry Situations’, ‘Eight Words that Can Transform Your Life’ and ‘Do This – and Criticism Can’t Hurt You’ might strike a spark of scepticism, but Dale Carnegie is true to his word and offers literally dozens of techniques for
conquering the worry habit and also ways of dealing with present worrying situations in a calmer and more rational way.

These days, if ever I start to worry about something I reach for my battered copy of ‘How to Stop Worrying’ with its yellowed pages and cracked binding glue and just by holding the book – even before I’ve re-read any of it – I feel calmer and more upbeat. This is because over the years I’ve formed a link in my mind between the book and the complex of positive feelings it evokes; a process known as anchoring.

I’ll end by offering one of the most potent pieces of advice from Dale Carnegie , “Live in day-tight compartments,” a tip echoed by the Scottish essayist Thomas Carlyle who said, “Our main business is to not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.”

Steve Bowkett